Celebrating 15 Years of Marriage

This tour through the last fifteen years of our marriage is over now; we’ve arrived at our destination – the 15th anniversary.

Crystal is the traditional 15th anniversary gift. It symbolizes the “clear and sparkling love” between a husband and wife, and I think that’s just about right for where we stand these days: clarity about who we are. The sparkle part might be a stretch, but I’ll take clear.

So much happened in the last fifteen years it’s hard to even imagine what the next fifteen will hold. In fifteen years, Lydia will be 27, Elvis 26, Henry 22, and we’ll all be able to have a legal celebratory glass of something with our three not-so-little people to celebrate our 30th anniversary. Brandon and I will be 56 and 51. If our children are like me, eager to start a family, we might have grandchildren. At 18 years of age, Izzy will be the world’s oldest Westie, which means we’ll be in the Guinness Book of World Records.

With luck and good health, our parents will be in their 70s and 80s in 15 years.

According to HowStuffWorks.com, it takes pressure cooking, “dumb luck and an awful lot of time,” to form crystals in nature. The longer a crystal has to form, the fewer contaminants it’ll have. Give it a lot of room to grow, and they can become enormous. “When we say someone’s thoughts suddenly ‘crystallize’ around a solution, we’re all crystal clear on what that means: that a jumble of swirling possibilities resolved itself into something still and orderly.”

So little is certain for 15 years down the road, or 10, or 5, or even tomorrow. These projections themselves could be interrupted by any number of tragedies and losses. But through the grace of time, heat, and a lot of room to grow, the jumble of swirling possibilities we have lived through so far have resolved themselves into something still and orderly, something clear, and yes, maybe even sparkling.

Husband, I’m grateful to be in this pressure cooker together, making something beautiful with you.

Marriage Posts, in Order:

• Year One:
  Fall 2003: Learning about Love Languages
  Spring 2004: Learning about Loss
• Year Two:
  Fall 2004: Learning about the Slowness of Grief
  Spring 2005: Learning about the Power of Distraction
• Year Three:
  Spring 2006: Learning about Abundance
  Summer 2006: Learning about How We’re Wired
• Year Four:
  2006-2007: Learning about Miracles
• Year Five:
  Fall 2007: Learning about Limits
  Spring 2008: Learning the Value of Community
• Year Six:
  2008-2009: Learning the Value of Tradition (and Repetition)
• Year Seven:
  2009-2010: Learning about Friendship
• Year Eight:
  2010-2011: Learning about Delight
• Year Nine:
  January 2012: Learning about Nutrition
  June 2012: Learning about Retreat
• Year Ten:
  Fall 2012: Learning Why We Make Vows
  Winter 2013: Learning about Losing Control
  Spring 2013: Learning about Mercies
  Summer 2013: Learning What Parents Do After the Kids Go to Sleep When You’re Camping
• Year Eleven:
  Fall 2013: Learning about Landmark Occasions
  Winter 2013: Learning about Forgiveness and Priorities
  Summer 2014: Learning about Seasons
• Year Twelve:
  December 2014: Learning about Chocolate Cake and Bourbon
  Spring 2015: Learning about New Seasons
• Year Thirteen:
  Fall 2015: Learning about Patience
  Winter 2016: Learning about Lament
  Spring 2016: Learning about Retreat, Again
• Year Fourteen:
  2016-2017: Learning about Wilderness
• Year Fifteen:
  Fall 2017: Learning about Settling
  Summer 2018: Learning How We See the World