I had every good intention of getting laundry done, dishes washed, something significant that isn’t so easy to do with the kids around, but instead, I have had a headache. All afternoon. So cable tv uninterrupted has been fabulous tonight.
I watched this ridiculous show on WE or O or Lifetime, some frilly station, called “Rich Bride, Poor Bride.” Oh. Dear. What is wrong with people? This girl’s mom paid for her wedding, which, come on – gratitude? please? But no, every step of the way, the bride was pushing to go above budget, with serious attitude. It was like listening to a 13 year old, “It’s MY wedding!” Oi, vay. And she hardly seemed to like her fiance, who, poor sod, couldn’t seem to do anything right. She had no respect for him whatsoever. It was nuts.
Poking around upstairs for a computer program to install on this nifty new laptop I’m using, I found our wedding albums. We are inching up on five years already. Pages on pages of smiles, hugs, kisses, laughter, intimacy… sunflowers and daisies, blue dresses, tuxes, Crystal Brook Farm, friends, family… I had a fairytale wedding, really. It is hard to write about our wedding without sounding incredibly sentimental. It’s probably easier to read about bitterness and frustration than joy and good times, anyway, right?
I had a difficult time getting into the swing of things at work today. After another long weekend, everything seemed urgent, so it was hard to determine where to begin. The most recent book with the Ashland Poetry Press is nearly done, which feels SO good – the cover design is just gorgeous, and the author’s thematic structure and well-constructed poems, I believe will be a hit. I also met with Joe and Dan to talk about River Teeth and the double issue; UNP is getting as excited about River Teeth’s future as we are, and that’s thrilling. The 10th issue is going to rock.
In the end, I guess I got things accomplished.
Besides my wedding albums, I found a notebook I kept the last year of college with some quotes and prayers in it. I have been thinking a lot about the outward flowing of spirituality lately – I used to gush 110% about how great God is, his love, forgiveness, grace, justice, mercy… etc., but not nearly as much anymore. I guess I got tired of saying the same cliches all of the time. It isn’t that I’ve forgotten his faithfulness or disregard his love – in fact, these traits about God and Jesus are as apparent in my life as ever – but the vocabulary of it all has gotten old and heavy. I want to walk the beach and tread water at the same time.
A favorite verse of mine, to close: “These commandments that I give you are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” – Deuteronomy 6:1-9